More Than a Checklist: What to Really Look For in a Child Care Setting
The search for childcare is one of the most emotionally charged tasks for any new parent. It's a process that goes far beyond a simple checklist; it's entrusting your loved one to someone else's care. That can bring up a range of conflicting feelings—from excitement and relief to anxiety and guilt even shame. As a therapist dedicated to supporting new parents, I often work with clients as they navigate this complex decision. The goal isn't just to find a place for your child, but to find a space that supports your family's values and allows you to feel confident and secure in your choice.
This guide is designed to provide you with a clear framework for what to look for in a child care setting. My intention is not to give you a one-size-fits-all solution, but rather to empower you with the right questions to ask and the right things to observe, so you can find the option that feels most aligned with your family’s needs and your personal intuition.
The Foundation: Essential Checks Before You Visit
Before you even step foot in a potential child care center or in-home daycare, there are foundational questions you can and should ask to create a preliminary list. This initial screening process can save you time and help you narrow down your search to places that meet your non-negotiable standards.
Licensing and Accreditation: The first and most critical step is to verify that any potential provider is licensed by your state or local authorities. Licensing ensures that the facility meets basic health, safety, and operational standards. You can typically find this information through your state's Department of Health or Child and Family Services website. You can also review previous citations a site as recieved and how they fixed those citations. This allows you to notice frequency, types, severity, and trends of citations that they have received over the last few years. Beyond licensing, some providers pursue accreditation from national organizations, which signifies that they have voluntarily met a higher set of standards for quality. While not a requirement, accreditation can be a strong indicator of a program’s commitment to excellence. I encourage you to research what these accreditations mean and if they are important to you.
Health and Safety Protocols: Ask about the facility's health policies. How do they handle sick children? What is their policy for administering medication? What are their procedures for keeping the environment clean and sanitized, especially during cold and flu season? On the safety side, inquire about secure entry systems (how is the fencing and gating used to keep the kids in a safe area, who is and is not allowed in the facility and how is that monitored, protocols around how can and cannot pick up your child), emergency evacuation plans, and what they do in case of a fire or other crisis (such as extreme heat or smoke advisories, blizzard, power outage, floods, earthquakes, or unfortunately if an active shooter was in the area or even on the premises). A provider should be transparent and confident in their safety measures.
Staff Qualifications and Training: You are entrusting your child to these individuals, so it's essential to understand their background. Ask about the staff's credentials. Do they have degrees in early childhood education or a related field? What is their ongoing professional development? How long have their staff been working there? What is the turn over rate for staff? Understanding the turn over rate is important because high turn over rate could presents as red flags for burnt out staff. It also will also prevent you child from developing stable attachments with their providers. Inquire about background checks, fingerprinting, and what percentage of staff are certified in CPR and first aid. A well-trained, supported, and knowledgeable staff is a cornerstone of a high-quality program.
The Provider's Philosophy and Curriculum: What is the provider's educational philosophy? Do they focus on play-based learning, a more structured academic approach, or a blend of both? There is no single "right" answer here; the best fit is the one that aligns with your beliefs about how children learn and grow. For infants and toddlers, you might be looking for a more responsive, child-led approach, while for preschoolers, you may prefer a program that incorporates early literacy and math skills. This is a deeply personal decision.
Observing the Environment: What to Look for During Your Visit
Once you've screened potential options, the in-person visit is where you’ll gather the most important information—and where your intuition will come into play. A visit allows you to move beyond the checklist and experience the atmosphere firsthand.
The Staff-to-Child Ratio and Group Size: This is an important indicator for the level of individual attention your child will receive. Lower ratios (fewer children per caregiver) means that a caregiver can be more responsive and engaged with each child. There are state restriction on how many children per caregiver, so make sure you are aware of that number (In California, it is 4-1 for infants, but 12-1 for preschool over 36 months old). Observe how many adults are in the room, how breaks are determined, how they keep within the state mandated ratio, who is relieving the caregivers, and how many children they are caring for.
Staff-Child Interaction: This is perhaps the most telling aspect of a visit. Watch how the staff members interact with the children. Do they get down to the children's eye level? Do they speak to them with warmth, kindness, and respect? How are they navigating conflict between 2 children? Are they actively engaged in the children's play, or are they passive observers? Look for caregivers who are responsive to a child’s cries or needs, offering comfort and reassurance. You want to see genuine connection and a nurturing presence. Don’t just focus on the caregivers in the classroom, but if there are other staff, such as front office and directors or upper management. Do they know the children and families in their program? Do they help support their staff in the classroom?
The Learning Environment: Take a look around the classroom or play area. Is it a clean, safe, and stimulating space? Are there a variety of age-appropriate toys and materials readily available? Are the children represented on the walls, such as pictures or artwork? Does the space appear organized but not sterile? Look for evidence of a rich learning environment, such as a designated reading nook, a space for creative art, a space for pretend play, or a well-equipped outdoor play area. The physical environment should be a reflection of the program's philosophy.
Daily Rhythm and Schedule: Ask to see a sample schedule. While a rigid schedule isn't always ideal, a predictable rhythm is incredibly important for young children. Look for a balance of active and quiet time, indoor and outdoor play, and structured and unstructured activities. A provider should be able to explain the "why" behind their schedule and demonstrate how it supports children's developmental needs.
Cleanliness and Organization: Observe the overall cleanliness of the facility. Are changing areas sanitized between uses? Is the kitchen area clean? Are the toys regularly cleaned? Ask about their protocol for cleaning after every play activity and at the end of the day. While a space filled with children will never be spotless, a commitment to cleanliness is a strong indicator of a provider's attention to health and detail.
The Human Connection: Communication and "Gut Feeling"
After you've checked the boxes on the practical and observational fronts, it’s time to consider the human element. The quality of communication and your own gut feeling about a setting are just as important as the more tangible factors. This is where the decision becomes deeply personal.
Communication with Parents: How does the provider communicate with families? Will you receive daily reports about your child's eating, sleeping, and mood? Do they use an app, a notebook, or a verbal check-in? How accessible are the caregivers and directors for questions or concerns? How does the program work with and communicate with parents on any behavioral issues? Look for a program that values open and consistent communication, and whose communication style aligns with what you need to feel informed and connected. You should feel like there is a partnership between you and your child’s caregiver and the program director.
Discipline Philosophy: What is the provider's approach to guiding children's behavior? Are their methods positive and age-appropriate? Do they focus on redirection and teaching skills, or on punitive measures? A high-quality program will be able to clearly articulate its philosophy on discipline, and it should be one that you feel comfortable with and can support at home.
Your "Gut Feeling": After all the research, all the questions, and all the tours, how does the place feel? Do you feel a sense of warmth and calm when you walk in? Do the staff seem happy and genuinely connected to the children? Do you feel heard and respected as a parent? Your intuition is a powerful tool. It's often picking up on subtle cues that your conscious mind might miss. If something feels off, it's worth exploring that feeling. Don't dismiss it just because a place ticks all the other boxes.
When I was doing my own childcare search, one center that I toured ticked off all the boxes. Except for a small comment from one of the providers giving the tour felt off to me. When touring the infants’ napping area the provider said, “I love getting to monitor nap time because I get to go on Facebook while the kids are sleeping.” That one comment got me wondering, if there were other providers also distracted during the time they were caring for my child? Even though there was a lot about the place that I liked that comment didn’t sit well with me, so I took them off my list. I continued touring at other sites until I found the place that worked for me and my family as a whole.
The Emotional Journey of Choosing Childcare: A Time for Support
The search for childcare is not just a logistical puzzle; it is an emotional journey that can bring up complex feelings. It's common to experience:
Guilt: The guilt of leaving your child in someone else's care, even if you know it's a necessity, can be difficult to shake.
Anxiety: The anxiety about whether your child will be safe, happy, and well-cared for can be overwhelming.
Sadness: A sense of sadness about the end of your time on parental leave and the start of a new, busier chapter.
Conflicting Feelings: It's also normal to feel excited about returning to work and your professional identity while simultaneously feeling sad about leaving your child. These conflicting feelings are normal.
Finding Your Family's Unique Fit
Choosing a child care setting is one of the most important decisions you will make for your child's early years. It requires a blend of diligent research, careful observation, and an openness to trusting your own intuition. The "best" choice is not necessarily the one with the highest ratings or the most elaborate curriculum. The best choice is the one that feels right for your family, that respects your values, and that provides a nurturing, safe, and stimulating environment where you feel your child will thrive.
If you are struggling with anxiety around child care decision making and other aspects of being or becoming a parent feel free to reach out. You can learn more about my personalized therapeutic approach by contacting me through scheduling a free consultation. Your well-being is paramount, and I am here to support you in finding confidence and peace of mind during this significant transition.
