Healing the Relationship
Attachment-Based Therapy & Intentional Parenting
You are exhausted by power struggles. You just want to "fix" your child, but change happens through connection rather than a “fix”.
You snap again, and you, once again, go into the spiral of feeling like the"bad parent". The tips you read online don't work and just create more shame and guilt for you. The exhaustion of parental burnout, and the fear that your own childhood experiences are showing up in how you respond to your toddler, and you want to parent with more intention.
Parenting in Silicon Valley's high-pressure, on-the-go environment often feels like an endless checklist of "shoulds," leaving you disconnected from actually enjoying a bond and relationship with your child.
Attachment-Based Therapy is more than just parenting coaching, but understanding how to build a secure and healthy attachment. It’s about navigating the identity earthquake of parenthood to help you become a more intentional, grounded, and responsive parent. We integrate the nervous system and understand the relationship from your baby or toddler’s perspective.
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Building a secure and healthy attachment starts with establishing safety. To feel safe, somatic regulation is a requirement for creating safety for your child. Staying present and calm when your child is spiraling builds up their trust and attachment in knowing you can contain their storm. The foundations of the dyadic relationship are giving your regulation to your child.
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Attachment based therapy moves beyond behavior management to reflect on beneath the surface. Children have limited language ability to express their emotions, therefore their needs come out in behaviors. This is especially important after a scary or traumatic event and Child-Parent Psychotherapy provides language in reflecting on a child’s behavior expressing their emotional turmoil.
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There is no such thing as the perfect parent. No magical script, parenting hack, or system. However, being good enough, showing up, and keeping your nervous system regulated are ways to help repair when ruptures do occur and model for your child how to create healthy dyadic relationships.
In our sessions, we examine your mental health within the context of your relationship and attachment to your child. This approach supports you by
Addressing the Root: We examine how birth trauma or your upbringing affects your current parenting triggers.
Evidence-Based Tools: You still get the practical parenting strategies, but they are filtered through an attachment lens and your parenting values that prioritize the bond and your individual beliefs as a parent.
Nervous System Alignment: We use Somatic Therapy and grounding your nervous system in order to extend that regulation to your child.
Developmental Clarity: Leveraging Infant Insights to ensure your expectations match your child’s actual brain development and their unique path towards developmental milestones.
Preserving the Bond: Especially critical for Second Time Moms trying to balance the needs of multiple children without losing the connection to their firstborn.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Attachment-Based Therapy is a relational approach that explores the bond between a caregiver and a child, whether that was the attachment with your own parents or your attachment with your child now. Rather than focusing solely on just behaviors or mental health as isolated individuals, we look at the underlying sense of safety and security within the relationship. By understanding your own attachment style we can work through how you are providing a secure base for your child to explore the world.
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Infant Mental Health is the study of a child's social and emotional development within the first five years of life. Attachment-Based Therapy is a core pillar of IMH because an infant's mental health is entirely dependent on the quality of their primary relationships. By focusing on the dyadic connection and attachment, we support your child’s brain development, emotional regulation, and future resilience.
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Yes. While a coach focuses on hacks and tools, as a therapist, I address the psychological roots of the connection. We examine why certain behaviors trigger you and how the identity earthquake of motherhood and modern society is impacting your ability to remain present. We focus on the relationship to prioritize connection over management.
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This is a dyadic therapy approach. Because infants and toddlers cannot be understood outside the context of their caregivers, we work together. Depending on the need, we may incorporate Child-Parent Psychotherapy to process shared stressors or focus on Somatic Regulation to help keep your nervous system regulated during your child's big meltdowns and tantrums in order to lend your calm to their storm.
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In a high-pressure environment like Silicon Valley, many parents struggle to transition from their performance and productivity work self to being a present and regulated parent self. We work on navigating the transitions between these identities, ensuring that you can create healthy boundaries at work and be present and engaged at home.
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Attachment is not a one-time event, but it is a cycle or pattern of "ruptures and repairs." That children can trust their parents will show up and reconnect in the relationship even after scary event or periods of disconnection. The fact that you are seeking support to better understand your child is, in itself, showing you care about your attachment.
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Absolutely. Parenting often brings our own unresolved experiences or birth trauma to the surface. By focusing on the attachment bond, we naturally address your own postpartum anxiety, providing you with a clearer framework through which to see both yourself and your child.